Get stories and expert advice on all things related to college and parenting.
What I Learned in 2020Anne Maytubby
Every year when fall rolls around there are cultural givens that we have come to expect — an overabundance of pumpkin-spice products, sweaters and flannel shirts in ads and store windows and, unfortunately, stories of offensive and racist Halloween costumes seen at college parties around the country.
But it’s 2020, we may think. A year that has felt like a watershed moment surrounding racial inequality in the United States. So many more of us are now keenly aware of the systemic racism in our society and, according to a June survey from the Pew Research Center, “Americans are talking to family and friends about race and racial equality: sixty-nine percent, including majorities across racial and ethnic groups, say they have done so in the last month.”
Have these discussions helped us all to evolve in our ways of thinking and will they lead to this finally being the year that our newsfeeds will be free of college students dressed up in offensive costumes?
My guess is no, given what we've seen on and around so many campuses the past few months as students arrived back at school and some have ignored campus health guidelines about large social gatherings during a pandemic. In addition, colleges have been issuing warnings to students about offensive costumes for years now, and that hasn't eradicated the behavior.
For example, in 2016 the University of Florida sent out a message to their student body before Halloween stating,
Think about your choices of costumes and themes. Some Halloween costumes reinforce stereotypes of particular races, genders, cultures, or religions. Regardless of intent, these costumes can perpetuate negative stereotypes, causing harm and offense to groups of people. Also, keep in mind that social media posts can have a long-term impact on your personal and professional reputation.
Messages and warnings like that one from college administrators have been mocked in the past and have caused outcry from free speech advocates. Is public shaming of college students wearing insensitive costumes a necessary tool for educating young adults or an example of “cancel culture” that some think has gone too far? Is their lack of sensitivity just another “college kids will behave like college kids” justification that many are willing to accept because the behavior isn’t physically harming anyone?
As the mother of two college-aged young adults, I believe parents do have an obligation — and also an opportunity. The costume topic is a chance to talk to our kids about how these choices both affect their own integrity and also signal how they value other people.
When it comes to questionable Halloween costumes, it's important for our students to understand that a lack of intent to offend is beside the point. What they may view as funny, or even as appreciation for a certain culture or group of people, can easily be hurtful for someone with a different lived experience or point of view.
And while some students may feel that none of the friends they're socializing with at Halloween would take offense to their costume, they need to think about the broader community to which they belong, and about how easy it is for a photo or video to go viral and to negatively affect people who are not physically near them.
They might also ask themselves: "If I think this costume is okay for my inner circle but I wouldn't want it to be seen by anyone else what does that say about my choice?"
Finally, it may be helpful to tactfully remind our emerging adults that their brains are still maturing and their ability to feel robust empathy is still evolving. It’s more challenging for some of them than for others to put themselves into another person’s position or truly grasp emotions that feel irrelevant to them.
Before Halloween gatherings begin this year, start a discussion with your college student. With the pandemic still in full swing, you might prefer they not socialize with a large group, but that could still happen. Even if parties are smaller or even virtual, students will dress up and take selfies galore.
Broach the subject of costumes, and ask them about what they think is harmless and what might be inappropriate to wear. Here are just some examples to point out as offensive choices:
The history of blackface in America is rooted in racism. It is never acceptable for someone to paint themselves a different skin color, nor is it reasonable to wear an outfit that reinforces any racial stereotype.
Even if a student thinks they're paying homage to someone they admire, it’s simply wrong. There are plenty of recent examples in the news of public figures experiencing serious repercussions from old photos if you need fodder for this conversation.
These are commonly seen at college parties and at adult gatherings as well. We should all avoid dressing up as a generalization of someone else’s culture. Forgo the Native American headdress, kimono, grass skirt and coconut shell top, or poncho with mustache look. Bottom line, if the costume would not sit well as a sports mascot, it should not be worn.
If a costume trivializes any part of the experience of mental illness, like a straitjacket or medications, it’s not appropriate and should be avoided.
Versions of priests, nuns, pastors or rabbis fall into this category. Costumes depicting religious leaders, beliefs or extremism can easily offend people. And it seems like it should go without saying that no one should dress up as a Nazi, terrorist or jihadist.
Costumes that ridicule or exaggerate a certain body part or body shape and costumes that mock LGBTQ+ identities are a form of sexual harassment.
While coronavirus costumes will certainly be available this year, one should think twice before choosing to dress up and be a reminder of something that's killed hundreds of thousands of Americans, similar to offensive costumes depicting a mass shooting, bombing or even a persistent problem like homelessness.
Dr. Akilah Cadet, CEO of Change Cadet, which provides individuals and companies with services that support anti-racism, diversity, inclusion, equity and belonging, offers these reminders for college students this Halloween:
Suggest they err on the side of respect and empathy. That's simple enough, and then they can use their imagination and creativity to come up with any number of fun costume options.
Photos courtesy of the author.