Get stories and expert advice on all things related to college and parenting.
College Preparedness: Recovering from the PandemicSuzanne Shaffer
The conversation with “Nick” (not his real name) went like this.
Nick: “Honestly, I feel like everything I'm doing is causing me to feel overwhelmed.”
Me (coach): “Are you able to pinpoint one or two sources of the heavy feeling?”
Nick: “It feels debilitating because I get so stacked with schoolwork and it all seems to accumulate.”
Me (coach): “I hate that you’re feeling so overwhelmed. Let’s figure out how best to lessen the load. When we get you to feel more organized and self-managed, I think you'll feel less anxious. What part of this would you like to start with?”
In the four years I have coached college students how to design effective stress management strategies, “overwhelm” is the word used most often as they describe their struggles to navigate college.
They express the most common cause of stress as the inability to simultaneously juggle multiple tasks while “staying organized in the brain.” Being able to learn while balancing and managing life feels unattainable.
Life for students who have executive function deficits can truly seem unmanageable. They feel like a failure, experience low self-esteem, and can even get depressed and anxious.
Executive function skills, according to Michael Delman, author of Your Kid’s Gonna Be Okay, are “self-management skills that allow us to get things done.”
This set of cognitive processes, abilities and skills is how students “execute” tasks.
As teenagers and young adults, students start to figure out how they fit in to the world around them. For them to successfully navigate themselves in the world (thrive in jobs and relationships, and complete responsibilities), they need to know how to manage multiple parts of themselves.
In order to manage themselves, they must be able to cognitively process thoughts and execute actions to complete daily tasks. This ability to integrate all of life’s responsibilities with efficiency is determined by executive functioning.
While the pre-frontal cortex conducts the execution of these skills, executive functioning is based on a continuum where, over time, these skills are built and strengthened as the brain develops and as life experiences shape each skill set.
Professionals identify three areas of executive function:
To further explain these skill areas, some professionals categorize them into (a) thinking skills and (b) behavioral skills. All of these skills of cognitive processing and behavior management should work together for students to be feel productive and successful.
When a student feels overwhelmed because of waiting until the day before exams to organize a study schedule, or when the due date for the semester project is “TOMORROW!”, this is a sign of weak executive function. Taking class content home and not remembering how or why the material is useful could also be a sign that executive functioning is weak.
These types of behaviors indicate some attention is needed to strengthen skills.
For college students to feel in control while navigating their new role (with new expectations and new habits), it is imperative that they strengthen the less developed executive functioning skills. Mastery of these skills yields a new independence, adaptability and self-motivation.
Three vital skills are critical for managing overwhelm:
These management skills are “the system software we need to get things done in our lives” (The CEO of Self: An Executive Functioning Workbook, Jan Johnston-Tyler, MA, 2014.). Drilling down a little deeper, these skills include the ability to:
Emotional regulation is believed to be the foundation of all executive function skill masteries because it directly decreases overwhelm. When a student successfully initiates, controls and appropriately expresses their emotions, they begin to shape the ability to pay attention, organize, understand others and complete tasks.
As students practice storing and using information and ignoring distractions, they feel more able to problem solve. As they become more efficient in self-reflection, they are capable of considering multiple options. This, in turn, allows them to make conscious decisions and perform conscious actions.
It is these intentional actions that help students live a happy and productive life.
Tools such as planners, timers, routines, study stations, schedules, visual reminders and graphic organizers help facilitate executive function strengthening. Professionally designed strategies train the brain to create a vision of success and see the larger picture.
Just like learning to properly brush teeth or ride a bicycle, practicing is one of the greatest ways to improve efficiency and minimize feelings of defeat.
As students practice strategies and begin to learn from their experiences, they gain the ability to self-direct. They make appropriate choices, set attainable goals and follow measurable action steps.
Helping students build strong executive function skills so they can live a balanced and productive life is laying the foundation not only for their survival on campus, but for sustainable life success.
We traced it back to the point of origin. Nick revealed, “Thermodynamics is kicking my butt. I am so lost in that class and I have so much catching up to do. Plus, I have to carry out my secretarial duties of the SGA because I was voted in for a whole year.”
We explored his time distractions, his space distractions (studies in his noisy dorm suite versus the library), and his memory management or working memory. Nick made adjustments. We established specific and measurable tasks and goals for him to practice with consistent effort.
It was at this session that Nick's overwhelm started to decrease.
He was strengthening his executive function skills and turning things around. The future looked bright.
When your college student starts their first semester, it’s not just a big deal for them. It’s a big deal for you, too.