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What Is Resilience and How Do We Cultivate It?Adina Glickman
What makes happy people happy?
Are we born with a happiness set point, or do our environment and life experiences hold the key?
A recent survey found record-low levels of unhappiness, with only 14% of us feeling “very happy,” down from 31% two years ago.
Yet, we want to be happy and we deeply want our children to be happy — to lead joy-filled lives.
The growing body of research on happiness is full of encouraging news and a clear path to boost happiness levels.
We used to think that brain pathways were set in early childhood. We now know that changes occur throughout our entire life. The field of neuroplasticity has shown that the brain can change in response to training and experiences.
By teaching our brain to think in a happier, more optimistic and resilient way, we can effectively train for happiness. This practice can help us find more peace of mind, and thrive in a world that often feels negative and beyond our control.
Can we increase our happiness levels regardless from where we start? YES!
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is one of the most familiar phrases in the Declaration of Independence. Google synonyms for "pursuit" and "chasing" will be at the top of the list.
Is happiness something we have to chase?
All too often, we focus on some external reward to bring us the fulfillment we want. "I’ll be happy when (fill in the blank)." We tend to think certain events, achievements or acquisitions in the future will make us happy.
And it’s no wonder — it's estimated that we're exposed to more than 5,000 advertisements a day, all designed to make us think we need to buy X to be happy. The messaging reinforces this notion that happiness is outside ourselves.
But the research tells us otherwise. According to Rev. Dr. Brent Strawn, “the pursuit of happiness" as written in the Declaration wasn't meant to refer to chasing happiness but rather to the overall experience of happiness. Seeking happiness is one thing, but actually obtaining it and experiencing it —practicing happiness — is entirely different.
Our founding fathers were encouraging the practice of happiness!
Pursuit-of-Happiness.org reviewed thousands of scientific studies and identified six specific ways of thinking and acting that can strongly impact our sense of happiness and peace of mind.
People who have one or more close friendships are happier. It doesn’t seem to matter if you have four best friends or one. What makes a difference is if and how often you engage in activities and share your personal feelings with someone you trust.
How healthy are the relationships in your life? How supported do you feel? Focus essential energy on your loved ones, nourish your healthy relationships, and whenever possible avoid toxic relationships.
People who volunteer or care for others on a consistent basis are happier and less depressed. Psychologists call this "prosocial behavior," and many studies have shown that when people have a prosocial focus — doing kind acts for others — their own happiness increases.
Grateful people have been shown to have more positive emotions, a greater sense of belonging, and lower incidence of depression and stress. Study after study shows that people who write down three things they are grateful for each day are happier in their lives after just six weeks.
Too often, our default is to move mindlessly through our days. When we are mindful, we are more engaged and less judgmental.
We have thousands of thoughts a day and many are negative. Try to catch yourself in any negative self-talk and reframe. Talk yourself up! Just as important is to pay attention to positive experiences and savor them. Let them sink in!
Studies also show that happy people have discovered their unique strengths and regularly utilize those strengths, especially when applied toward a cause or purpose that is greater than their own personal goals.
When we are deeply involved in an activity that is challenging and suited to our skills, we enter a state of FLOW. FLOW is when you are so immersed in something you lose track of time. Spending time in a state of FLOW contributes to your happiness.
The way we eat, breathe, move and rest, even our facial expressions, can affect the release of our body’s feel-good chemicals. A landmark analysis of 23 studies on exercise and depression concluded that regular exercise had a “large clinical impact” on depression.
While a portion of our happiness is determined by our genetics, there’s plenty of room for happiness-boosting habits to influence our overall state of well-being.
Take stock in the habits you already practice and keep at it! Observe which happiness habits could use a little more of your attention, and try to find time to practice. Happiness is an inside job.
If you need encouragement, take a look at the health benefits of practicing happiness.
What are your next steps on the path to a “very happy” life?
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