The relationship roller coasterJennifer See
The text arrived early in my daughter’s sophomore year: “Might be sick. Tired all the time.” Nothing specific, but she wasn’t feeling well.
In high school, she could stay home, curled up on the sofa, and I’d bring her soup and tea. I hated thinking of her stuck in a dorm room feeling awful or slogging her way around campus while sucking down Ibuprofen and cough medicine. How was I supposed to respond?
Your student will get sick at college. The most recent National College Health Assessment found that in the previous year, more than half of college students sought treatment for health problems ranging from sinus infections and strep throat to migraines and mononucleosis. These numbers don’t even include the many students suffering from colds and flu who don’t visit the health center.
My friend Melissa’s son was just a few weeks into freshman year when he texted, “I have mono.” He refused to come home. “He was totally in the driver’s seat,” she remembered, and she had to face the fact that she couldn’t make him rest, drink fluids and stay home from class. Even though she wasn’t certain he had the judgment to handle the situation, she made it her goal to facilitate his independence. In the end she was able to speak with campus health center staff. “I was reassured to know someone else was aware of his illness,” she said.
As Melissa’s experience highlights, there are limitations to what we can do when our students are sick.
You may also find yourself frustrated by lack of communication. Two federal regulations, FERPA and HIPAA, can create obstacles to getting information about your student without their mediation or written consent. (For more information and helpful advice, read "FERPA and HIPAA — Federal Laws and Student Privacy.")
Remember, even though college and medical staff are restricted in what they may tell you, you are not limited in what you can share with them. You can provide medical history and information that may help staff when treating your student.
First, trust that — with some guidance from you — your student will rise to the occasion and learn how to care for themselves. Second, trust in their school. Most campuses make health services accessible and accommodating to students, and the staff understands the demands of college life. Most schools have procedures in place for dealing with common health issues. Melissa was impressed that her son’s college informed his professors as soon as he was diagnosed and he was automatically given extensions on assignments.
What will you do when you get that call, text or email? I encouraged my daughter to see a doctor and helped her think through how to keep up with classes and activities while getting extra rest. I comforted her and sent a care package. But the most important thing I did was letting her know I was confident she could handle it on her own.
If your student reports feeling stressed or depressed, encourage them to seek help on campus immediately.