How to Help Your Student Balance Work and School (Without Losing Their Mind)CollegiateParent
Starting college can be scary for anyone. When you are a first-generation student, that journey brings challenges, as well as joys, not always felt by students whose parents went to college.
Amanda Z., a first-generation student in Oregon, remembers feeling pressure as she considered her choices: “If I go to college, I’m figuring it all out by myself, and if I don't go to college, then I put that pressure on my kids. But it also feels really good — empowering — that I can do that for my family.”
Learning about colleges and filling out applications is a lot of work. If you are the parent of a first-gen student, know that you do not have to do this all alone, and you should not feel guilty about what you don’t know. Find a mentor — the parent of one of your students’ friends, a teacher at the school, or your own friend or coworker who has been to college or helped a student get there.
For Amanda, that mentor was an art teacher who helped her realize that she qualified for Willamette Academy, a selective college access program that supports students from the summer before 8th grade to high school graduation and college admission. “Had I not gone to Willamette Academy…I probably wouldn’t even have known what college was,” Amanda said.
Even special college access programs can’t entirely prepare students for college. It’s important to encourage your student to think about college so they begin imagining themselves choosing this path. Don’t feel like you have to have all the answers — just start conversations in which both you and your student can explore goals, questions and concerns.
Amanda’s high school had a college information office to help students complete applications, fill out FAFSA, find scholarships and keep track of deadlines. “But,” she told me, “I barely even knew it was there.” Students already had to have some knowledge about college before that office could be useful to them, which is why talking about college at home is essential.
Even if you haven’t been to college, you’ve probably moved to a new place or started something new and difficult. Use any struggles you’ve worked through to imagine what your student will face so that you can better support them.
Encourage your student to make an appointment with their counselor who can:
Teachers are also a great resource. If your student loves math, it’s important to talk to their math teacher about what classes are required for college. Teachers can also answer questions about:
Colleges and universities can be small (a couple thousand students) or large (20,000-30,000 students!). One first-gen student told me that going to a large university was uncomfortable. “You really can’t feel like an individual when you’re in a crowded area like that.”
Help your student explore what kind of learning environment is best for them by talking about the classes they are in now. Even though their high school classes probably aren’t as large as many college classes, you can discuss what activities (small group or partner work, lectures, hands-on experiments, individual assignments) they like most to help them understand how they learn.
The road to college is challenging, and there will be setbacks and disappointments along the way. You can model a positive attitude for your student. Confidence is contagious!
First-generation (“first-gen”): First person in the immediate family to attend college (highest degree obtained by either parent is a high school diploma or less). Not to be confused with first generation immigration status, but a student could be both.
Mentor: Someone you trust who has the experience to help and guide you.
FAFSA: Free Application for Federal Student Aid. College students need to fill this out each year in order to apply for financial assistance from the government, the state and their college or university.
SAT/ACT: Standardized tests taken junior and senior year in high school. Colleges use the scores when they consider your student's application for admission. It costs money to register for the SAT and ACT and to send scores to colleges, but fees may be waived for eligible families. Your student can learn more from the high school counseling office. Some states administer either the SAT or ACT to all high school juniors without charge or need for registration.
Scholarship: A grant or other financial gift (which does not have to be paid back, like a student loan) to pay for higher education. Some colleges and universities will offer merit or need-based scholarships without a separate application but in most cases your student needs to apply for scholarships which may be awarded for academic or athletic achievement, written essays, and extracurricular or community involvement. Some scholarships seek applicants from particular backgrounds.
College fair: An event, usually held in a high school gym, attended by representatives from many college admission offices. College fairs are an opportunity for students to find out more about different schools. Admission representatives may also hold smaller informational get-togethers at individual high schools.
Special thanks to Mike Evans, Director of TRIO (a Federal outreach and student services program designed to identify and provide educational services for individuals from disadvantaged backgrounds), as well as the many wonderful first-generation students at Chemeketa Community College in Salem, Oregon who provided insight and expertise for this article.