Starting COLLEGE
A guide for families
4 Steps to a successful transition for families of new college students
Dear Reader,
We are strong believers in the importance of a student's support system as they tackle the challenges and opportunities of college. Whether you are the parent, grandparent, stepparent, guardian, family friend, counselor, coach, or mentor of a college student, you can have a positive impact on the student you care about and their success. 
While we intend to be inclusive, for the sake of simplicity, in the English articles, we use "parent and family" to refer to a student’s supporters and “student” to refer to the student. In Spanish, we use “padre” and “estudiante” or “hijo/a.” However, rest assured that if you are the one who is there for a college student, we are talking to you and dedicated to providing the information you need. 
This guide touches on many important and helpful topics. There are additional resources on CollegiateParent.com.
Sincerely,
CollegiateParent
^Table ^of ^Contents
^PT1	
^Get ^to ^Know  ^the ^TXST ^Campus
3	Welcome to the Bobcat Family!
4	Helpful Campus Resources
5	New Student Checklist
6	Parent and Family Checklist
7	Campus Safety Checklist
^PT2	
 ^A ^Family’s ^Role
8	Best Advice for New College Parents
10	Help Your Student Stay Healthy
12	Federal Laws and Student Privacy
^PT3	
^Paying ^for ^College
14	Controlling Costs and Saving in College
16	Financial Aid
^PT4	
^A ^Plan ^for ^College ^Success
18	How to Be a Successful College Student
20	Career Preparation
22	Overcoming Obstacles
CollegiateParent provides print and digital resources for the families of college students through our website and in partnership with colleges and universities across the U.S. Please visit www.CollegiateParent.com to get our latest tips, find out more about your student’s school, sign up for the Loop (our parent eNewsletter), and connect with us on social media.

Content (PART 2–PART 4) created by:  Jo Calhoun, Tami Campbell, Priscilla Childress, José Martínez, Vicki Nelson,  Diane Schwemm, Suzanne Shaffer, and Amanda Taylor
Translated by: Kelsey Bennett, Marinela Maneiro-Goodwin, and José Martínez
Designed by: Kade O’Connor
© 2022 CollegiateParent. All rights reserved.
_1 	^Get ^to ^Know ^the ^Texas ^State ^Campus
Welcome to the Bobcat Family!
As your student begins their college journey at Texas State, we invite parents and family members to start their own journey by connecting with the Parent and Family Relations program. 
Family members play a vital support role to students. Learn about campus resources and services so you can support your student when your student comes to you with questions. Connect with us!
Join the Family Association.
Through this membership, you will receive regular communication from the university, pre-sale ticket access for special events, and the opportunity to connect with other Bobcat families. Your contributions help fund student scholarships and support Texas State programs for students.
Connect with us.
Subscribe to the Bobcat Family Portal to receive e-newsletters and resources to keep you connected to the university, follow us on Facebook for weekly tips and university information, and visit our website for FAQs, resources, and Family Weekend information.
Come back for Family Weekend. 
Each fall we host a two-day Family Weekend event full of activities and TXST spirit! Get all the details on our website and through our communication channels.
parentandfamily.txstate.edu
512-245-4326
facebook.com/BobcatFamily
Sponsored by
   
Helpful Campus Resources
Texas State Information | 512-245-2111 | txstate.edu
Attorney for Students | 512-245-2370 | attorney.dos.txstate.edu
Career Services | 512-245-2645 | careerservices.txstate.edu
Counseling Center | 512-245-2208 | counseling.txstate.edu
Dean of Students | 512-245-2124 | dos.txstate.edu
Disability Services | 512-245-3451 | ods.txstate.edu
Financial Aid and Scholarships | 512-245-2315 | finaid.txstate.edu
Housing and Residential Life | 512-245-4663 | reslife.txstate.edu
Parent and Family Relations | 512-245-4326 | parentandfamily.txstate.edu
Registrar | 512-245-2367 | registrar.txstate.edu
Student Learning Assistance Center | 512-245-2515 | txstate.edu/slac
Student Business Services | 512-245-2544 | sbs.txstate.edu
Student Health Center | 512-245-2161 | healthcenter.txstate.edu
Vice President for Student Affairs | 512-245-2152 | vpsa.txstate.edu

University Police

Non-emergency 512-245-2805

police.txstate.edu

New Student Checklist
	Activate your NetID and start checking your BobcatMail (email) on a regular basis. Information about tuition payments, financial aid information, and other important university messages are already being sent to your BobcatMail address. 
	Download TXST mobile apps on your phone to find a shuttle bus route, access your courses and grades, and navigate campus. 
	Register for your parking permit. All vehicles on campus must have a parking permit by first day of class. You can purchase a permit online through Parking Services. 
	Connect with your roommate to get to know one another before Move-in in August. Visit the Department of Housing and Residential Life website for what to bring and not to bring before you start shopping for your room. 
	Pay your tuition bill on time. Tuition bills are available via email the first week of August. Payment must be made on time or your classes will be dropped. Payment plans are available through Student Business Services. 
	Looking for a part-time job? Visit the Career Services website to search through the online job database and apply for positions both on and off campus.
Parent and Family Checklist
	Subscribe to the Bobcat Family Portal to receive e-newsletters and resources, and join our Facebook community for weekly updates and news. You can find these on the Parent and Family Relations website. 
	If you have health insurance coverage for your student, give them their own health insurance card to carry. That way, when your student needs a medical appointment, they will already have their proof of insurance and won’t be delayed receiving medical care. The Student Health Center accepts most major insurances. Visit their website for full details.
	Have a conversation with your student about academic expectations, adjusting to college life, personal safety, and living away from home. 
	What does your student need to learn before heading off to college? How to do laundry? Change a flat tire? Manage a personal budget? Preparing your student for a more independent life can ease the transition into college. 
	Come back for Family Weekend in the fall! Family Weekend is a two-day event for all parents and family members to spend time in San Marcos and on campus with their student. Purchase your tickets on the Parent and Family Relations website. 
Campus Safety Checklist
It is natural to worry about the safety of your students when they are on campus and especially if they live in the residence halls rather than commuting from home.
Rest assured that colleges and universities make student safety a top priority. The campus police department works closely with the town/city police department — officers are available 24 hours a day to respond to student concerns. The entrances to residence halls can only be opened by the students who live there, using their ID cards as a key. Pathways and public spaces are well lit.
It is a good idea to talk to your student about things they can do to protect their personal safety as well as their belongings.
	Register laptops and bikes with the campus police department.
	If driving to campus, never leave valuables in the car and lock it at all times; in general, leave expensive items at home.
	Lock dorm room at all times.
	Sign up to receive emergency “campus alert” text messages from the college in case of a weather or other emergency.
	Attend campus trainings on sexual assault prevention and bystander intervention — use the buddy system when going out at night and keep track of friends at parties.
	Take a self-defense class if one is offered on campus and consider buying a keychain alarm or pepper spray.
	Use campus police department late-night escorts and safe-ride programs.
	Ask your student to share their roommate’s contact information (phone, email) so you have it in case there is ever an emergency.
_2 	^A ^Family’s ^Role
Best Advice for New College Parents
It’s back-to-school time again…but this year is different. Your student is going to college!
You can be proud of raising a son or daughter who is ready to take on new challenges and responsibilities, whether at a campus across the country or down the street. Here are a few pieces of advice to help with the transition:
 Realize the academic challenges are much different from high school.
Your student will have to study harder, and more independently. Remind them of the many resources on campus to help them be successful such as tutoring and writing centers. Even students who are strong writers will need help with papers in college.
Remind your student that the syllabus they got on the first day of class will be their friend. Encourage them to make copies of the syllabus from each class so they can keep copies at their desk and also make a binder for their classes with the syllabus as the first page.
 Understand your student might start college with the goal of being a doctor… and may end their four years with a degree in communication.
Many students change their goals as they go through college. Support your student as they explore opportunities and possibly work through the process of changing their major.
 Encourage them to get to know their professors.
The professor can be a vital player in the life of your student and, down the road, a reference as your student applies for internships, jobs and perhaps graduate school. They should introduce themselves to the professor, ask questions and take advantage of the office hours professors set aside just to talk to students.
 Set expectations early.
Discuss what information you want your student to share with you. What do you expect from their grades? Do you want them to have a job during the school year? Review the Student Code of Conduct (found on the college website). Will your student share the tuition statement with you? Having these conversations early can prevent misunderstanding.
 Talk about communication.
Talking about talking sounds funny, but it’s an important subject to discuss before your student starts college. Will you set up a certain time of the week to check in? Will you text rather than phone?
When you do talk, ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered by  “yes” or “no” so they have to share.  For example, “What have you enjoyed  about the transition from high school  to college?”
 Know that your student will be busy.
With academics, activities, a social life and, hopefully, sleeping, their schedule is packed. Realize they aren’t ignoring you or putting the family on the back burner — they are finding their place and learning to balance multiple responsibilities.
 Send mail!
It reminds them that you and other family members are thinking about them. Students love opening that little mailbox and pulling out a letter or, better yet, a slip telling them they have a package.
 Don’t rush in to solve their problems.
Growing up means taking responsibility for your own actions. Listen, offer suggestions, and steer your student to campus resources. Let them know you have confidence in their ability to handle any problem. Refer them to the counseling center — sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who isn’t a relative or friend.
 Don’t encourage them to come home every weekend.
Students need to acclimate to the campus culture, get involved with activities, and connect with the new people surrounding them. Plus they usually have homework and should prioritize studying.
 Make plans to visit.
Take advantage of events the college hosts for family members. Family Weekend is a great time to be on campus and get a glimpse into your student’s new life. Make your plans to attend now!
Help Your Student Stay Healthy
The pace of college life is invigorating, but it can also be exhausting. Whenever you have the chance, take time to mentor your student in healthy life habits. Here are tips to share and discuss!
Managing stress
Stress in college doesn’t have to be a given. There are many proven ways to manage stress: 
·	Cardio exercise, yoga and meditation lower stress levels and calm the body and mind. Integrating these practices takes discipline at first but pays off big-time in the long run. 
·	A daily spiritual practice, being in nature, spending quality time with a friend or journaling are all ways to combat stress. 
·	Staying organized and managing time are also key in combating stress. 
Talk with your student about what has worked for them in the past, and about people you both know who do a good job managing stress. 
Eating for optimal health
In college, students may not eat as well as they did at home. Some talking points:
	1.	Remind your student that eating fast foods, drinking too much caffeine and consuming lots of sugar will make them feel sluggish and can weaken the immune system. 
	2.	Encourage your student to eat fresh fruit and veggies and try not to skip meals. 
	3.	Keeping healthy snacks on hand — cheese, nuts, seeds, protein bars — can help them maintain normal blood sugar levels and stave off binge eating. 
	4.	Taking daily vitamins and drinking plenty of water are also good nutritional habits.
Sleep is key
It’s normal for students to experience disruptions to their sleep schedule in college. There are ways to facilitate a good night’s sleep and productive day:
	•	Establish a bedtime routine.
	•	Work at a desk instead of the bed.
	•	Turn off screens.
	•	Limit caffeine, alcohol, soda and hardcore snacking before bed.
	•	Limit all-nighters.
Abstain or limit alcohol consumption
Drinking is a major health concern on college campuses and increases the risk for accidents, sexual assault, violence, unintended pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and poor academic performance. Talk with your student about drink limits. If they are underage, encourage them to wait to drink as there are legal consequences for underage drinking. Help your student establish healthy boundaries and talk about alternatives to drinking alcohol. 
If your student chooses to drink, educate them on the dangers of binge drinking — for females that’s four or more drinks and for males five or more in a short period of time. The more they know about drugs and alcohol, the more likely they are to make wise choices.  
Know the resources
College campuses offer health and resource centers to address most of your student’s needs. If you are able to visit campus, familiarize yourself with where everything is and what’s offered; browse the website, too. Talking with your student about what is available can empower them to reach out and get help if needed.
Federal Laws and Student Privacy
Many parents view their students’ college years as a gradual transition from dependent childhood to independent young adulthood. 
However, there are a few areas where college students are considered adults under the law and parents’ rights to access information about their students are restricted.
FERPA – Education records
Parents do not have automatic access to their college student’s grades. FERPA, the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, gives parents control of their children’s educational records and transfers that control to students when they turn 18 or go to college. Educational records include grades, transcripts, course schedules, student financial information and disciplinary records.
Because of FERPA, the college will not share education records with a third party (including a parent) unless authorized by the student. The exception is “directory information” (a student’s name, address, phone number, date of birth, etc.) which the school can share with third parties. Schools must notify students annually of their rights under FERPA, including how to opt out of having their directory information made public.
How should families deal with FERPA? A good place to start is by talking to your student (early in the school year if possible) about their academic goals and how much information you’d like about their grades. Your student may or may not be open with you about how they’re doing in their classes. You can show your support by taking an interest in what they are studying, and not just focusing on grades.
If a student wants to let a parent, guardian or other supportive adult see their grades, there is usually a process for granting “third party access.” You may already have a parent login to your student’s account, created with your student’s permission, allowing you to view the tuition statement.
Alternatively, if your student is a dependent for tax purposes, the college may disclose these records to you with or without your student’s consent. You will need to provide evidence of your student’s status; steps to follow will be on the Registrar’s page on the college website.
Treatment records
The privacy protections of FERPA also apply when your student is treated at campus health and counseling clinics. It’s up to your student to decide whether to share information with you about their treatment and/or invite you into consultations with campus health providers. 
At any time a college is allowed under FERPA to contact parents of students under the age of 21 who violate laws or policies relating to drug possession or underage drinking, and schools are permitted to disclose information in an emergency if it’s deemed necessary to protect the health and safety of the student or other individuals.
HIPAA
The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) protects the privacy of medical records. As soon as children turn 18, parents no longer have access to their medical information even if they’re still covered by the family health insurance policy.
This means that your student’s visits to health providers and hospitals off campus — including the family doctor back home — are confidential. If there is an accident or health emergency and your student is hospitalized, medical personnel will not be able to consult with you without your student’s consent.
There’s a simple form your student can complete which permits health-care providers to share information with you or include you in conversations. Generic HIPAA authorization forms can be found online; your doctor’s office may have one as well. If your student goes to school out of state, it is a good idea to fill one out both for that state and your home state. These forms do not need to be notarized. You and your student should both keep paper copies and store scans on your computer or smartphone.
Emergency Room Exceptions 
The safety and care of a patient trumps HIPAA, so in the E.R., if a patient is unable to communicate, doctors can use their own judgment about sharing information with family members who are present.
Learn more
Learn more at studentprivacy.ed.gov/audience/parents-and-students and hhs.gov/hipaa/for-individuals/index.html and by contacting your student’s college or university registrar.txstate.edu/legislative-policies/ferpa.html.
_3 	^Paying ^for ^College
Controlling Costs and Saving in College
All families with students in college know that college is expensive. The price of housing, food, textbooks, clothing and entertainment keeps going up. This advice can help you save money and manage the cost of a college education.
Complete the FAFSA each year
First-year students who were awarded financial aid must reapply each year by completing the FAFSA and any other forms required by the college. If your student didn’t apply last year, they should apply this year. Their academic record could qualify them for college scholarships and grants. Another reason to apply is if your family financial situation has changed: loss of job, care of an elderly parent, another family member in college, or a change in income. Even if your family doesn’t qualify for government aid, colleges use the FAFSA when giving out their own merit aid.
Take advantage of scholarship opportunities
Your student should visit the financial aid/scholarship services office at their school — it maintains an extensive list of scholarships your student can apply for. Your student can also search online using social media, ask professors or friends about possible scholarships, or use scholarship search engines like: 
	•	Bobcat Online Scholarship System (BOSS)
	•	Scholarships.com
	•	Scholly (myscholly.com)
	•	Scholarships360.org
	•	Cappex.com
Scholarships can help your student pay for their college education, but they must do the work to research and apply!
Graduate on time
Graduating in four years or less can save your student and your family tens of thousands of dollars. You would not only save on tuition, but room and board and other expenses as well. An on-time graduation also means your student will enter the workforce (and begin earning a salary) sooner rather than later. Help your student set a goal to graduate in four years and encourage them to work closely with their academic advisor to make sure they stay on track.
Other Money‑Saving Strategies
·	If your student earned AP or IB credit in high school, or has community college course credits, make sure they do what’s necessary to get those credits applied to their transcript. The academic advisor and Registrar’s office can help.
·	Students who live on campus can apply for a Resident Assistant (R.A.) position after freshman year. Colleges typically reduce the room and board bill or even offer free room and board to R.A.s. 
·	Reevaluate the student meal plan after freshman year. A partial meal plan should be sufficient.
·	Take advantage of student discounts on food, entertainment and travel. Local businesses, restaurants and grocery stores usually accept a student ID card. 
·	Textbooks are expensive and your student can save hundreds each semester by not buying new books. They can purchase used textbooks at the college bookstore or through websites like Chegg, Barnes & Noble and Amazon where they may also search for textbook rentals. Your student might also explore textbook exchanges like Student2Student or share textbooks with a classmate.
CollegiateParent.com
Financial Aid
Financial aid helps qualified students cover the costs of higher education. It is important for students to apply on time and fill out the necessary forms carefully because an incomplete form cannot be processed until all required information has been submitted or corrected.
Filling out the FAFSA
Make sure to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, also known as FAFSA. This is the federal government’s application that is used to award aid based on an applicant’s need. 
All students should fill out this form. Some universities also require the CSS/Financial Aid PROFILE form. Your student’s school may also have their own online application. Your student should verify which forms are required by their university and call the financial aid office if they have any questions.
If your student has already completed the FAFSA and indicated their university on the form, wait for a financial aid offer from the school. Even if your family does not qualify for financial assistance from the government, filling out the FAFSA is a good idea because many schools use FAFSA to award their own grants and scholarships.
The FAFSA is available on October 1st each year. For 2022–2023, the federal application deadline is June 30, 2023 (which means your student can apply even if they have already started college). HOWEVER, the university’s own deadline is usually the spring before the academic year gets started, and there may not be institutional funds available for students who miss this deadline.
fafsa.gov
Your student’s financial aid package
Financial aid is intended to help bridge the gap between the college’s “Total Cost of Attendance” and what your family can afford to pay (“Expected Family Contribution”). Review the financial aid package offered by the college, which may include grants, scholarships, work study and loans. Your student’s financial aid award can be used to pay for tuition, room and board, student fees, travel, books and supplies.
Grants
The main sources of need-based grants for college are federal and state governments, individual universities, and private funds. Grants (including Federal Pell Grants) do not have to be repaid — they are free money! Grants can be renewed each year if the student continues to meet the requirements and the funds are available.
Scholarships
Scholarships are usually based on academic achievement and economic need and this is also money that your student does not have to repay. The staff in the admissions and financial aid offices determine student eligibility. Some students meet the requirements for multiple scholarships.
Many students and their families do not realize that there are many sources for outside/private scholarships and grants available to pay for college, in addition to what universities offer. High school counselors can be very helpful in identifying scholarships, and there are also many online sources that provide lists of available scholarships.
Work study
This is a federal program which distributes money to colleges and universities to finance campus employment for eligible students. If work study is part of your student’s financial aid award, they will find out early in the school year what kinds of jobs are available and they can decide which to apply for. Work-study funds are delivered to your student in the form of paychecks from the university to help them cover any education-related expenses.
Federal student loans
Federal student loans may be part of your student’s financial aid offer. This is money your student borrows and must pay back with interest. 
Through the William D. Ford Federal Direct Loan Program, the U.S. Department of Education offers direct loans to eligible students and families:
·	Direct Subsidized Loans are offered to students with economic need. Interest is deferred (postponed) until after degree completion.
·	Direct Unsubsidized Loans may be offered to students who are eligible but don’t demonstrate financial need. Interest payments on these loans begin immediately.
You can find out about other kinds of federal loans, including the Federal Perkins Loan Program for students with exceptional financial need, by visiting the website studentaid.ed.gov.
Be cautious when applying for or accepting loans 
Your student does not need to accept the federal loans that are offered in a financial aid award. Before you sign for any loans, we suggest creating an inventory of other loans that your student has already acquired. Research the loan requirements and repayment terms, how and when payments are made, and how much the payments will be. 
We recommend avoiding loans from private institutions (banks and credit unions) because interest and penalties can be higher and repayment terms can be less flexible. We also recommend avoiding companies that offer information only in exchange for payment.
_4 	^A ^Plan ^for ^College ^Success
How to Be a Successful College Student
College classes are very different from high school. Students are becoming more independent, but they will still ask for advice. Here is some helpful information.
General Education requirements (“Gen Eds”)
Most colleges require a set of introductory courses, taken first and second year. Gen Eds ensure that students learn a range of subjects. Gen Ed requirements are described in the university’s online course catalog. 
If your student earned AP or IB credit in high school, those credits may substitute for some Gen Ed courses. Policies on AP and IB credit vary widely by school so your student should check. 
Academic advising
All students are assigned an academic advisor to help them plan courses and understand Gen Ed and graduation requirements. The advisor can give advice about choosing a major or finding an internship. Your student can go to their advisor with any kind of problem. Encourage your student to see their advisor often! 
9 ways to support your student
	1.	Encourage your student to get to know faculty members, participate in class, and go to faculty office hours. By getting to know their professors, students will be more comfortable in class and more likely to ask for help when they need it.
	2.	STUDENTS MUST ATTEND CLASS. Students who go to every class session rarely fail the course. This is what you are paying for!
	3.	Students should carefully read the syllabus for each course. The syllabus lists assignments and due dates, required books and course materials, and test dates. It is handed out and should also be available through the professor’s web portal. 
	4.	Recommend that your student use a planner or calendar to keep track of their class schedule, homework and exams, and activities.
	5.	Show an interest. Ask your student what courses they are taking, and about their meetings with their academic advisor. 
	6.	Encourage study skills and time management. College course work is a lot harder than high school. In college, students spend fewer hours in class but many more hours studying outside of class (typically 2–3 hours for every hour of class time). Being a college student is a full-time job!
	7.	Coach your student to find quiet places to study. Usually this is not at home, if your student still lives with you, or in the residence hall. Campus libraries offer spaces for individual and small group work and are open long hours. Academic buildings and coffee shops have quiet corners. 
	8.	Remind your student to take advantage of help on campus: faculty office hours, the writing center, study groups, and more. 
	9.	Have confidence in your student. Tell them they can do it!
Office Hours:
Regular times each week when faculty members are available for students to drop by their office without an appointment.
Conversation Starters
	•	Did your high school classes prepare you for the work or will you need some extra help?
	•	Do you have all the books and supplies you need?
	•	Tell me about your favorite professor.
Career Preparation
As the first person in my family to attend college, I made a lot of mistakes. One was thinking a college degree would automatically lead to a career. I didn’t realize how many other tasks I needed to complete in order to make my dream job a reality. – Tami Campbell
Students today can access a world of information that didn’t exist when I started college. Despite that, many students are still making the same career mistakes I made. They assume that career preparation just happens along the way.
Fortunately, there are campus resources available to help your student. One of the best is the career services office. The counselors there truly want to see your student succeed! But first, students need to take the initiative and reach out.
A quick visit to the career center reveals a variety of services students can take advantage of, including:
 Job search skills / job postings
Career services can help your student learn how to conduct a successful job search. Most offices also maintain an active job postings database available only to current students and alumni. These job postings are usually from employers looking specifically for students interested in a summer job or internship or upcoming graduates seeking a full-time position.
 Resumé and cover letter help
For most students, creating their first resumé or cover letter is a challenge. Career services staff can help them by offering tips on format options, items to include (or not!) and current best practices in resumé writing. They can also proofread and offer suggestions for improvements after the initial draft is done.
 On-campus recruiting and interviews
Career services staff work hard to develop relationships with businesses, from local employers to global companies. They actively market their students to these companies, many of whom take advantage of the opportunity to hold on-campus interviews. Career services can help your student sign up for these on-campus interviews, or schedule online interviews when those are offered.
 Interview skills development / mock interviews
Interviewing is stressful, no matter how much work experience your student may have. Students preparing for their first professional interview may feel scared. Career services staff can offer guidance and support. They should be able to provide a list of likely interview questions, helpful tips on answering questions, ideas on how to prepare, and — best of all — staff who will do practice interviews with your student and provide constructive feedback.
Overcoming Obstacles
First-year college students face many challenges as they adjust to their new lives. Usually they can take small obstacles and minor failures in stride, but sometimes their struggles are more serious.
If a problem begins to seem overwhelming, students may feel as if they can’t “do college.” Common problems for new students include:
	•	Feeling unable to handle the workload
	•	Health issues
	•	Financial worries
	•	Having a job that takes up too much time
	•	Partying too much
	•	Homesickness
	•	Lack of self-confidence  (“imposter syndrome”)
How can a parent know what’s wrong?
If your student confides in you, you are partway to being able to help them find a solution. Even if they don’t communicate much, you may notice warning signs: they call home a lot, or never call; they never want to come home, or come home all the time; once home, your student doesn’t want to return to school; you sense that your student isn’t going to class. Maybe there are physical changes — a dramatic weight gain or loss, or an appearance of stress and fatigue.
^Here’s ^how ^you ^can ^help:

Step 1: 
Get to the root of the problem
Your student needs to admit they have a problem and give it a name. Much like peeling back the layers of an onion, though, the immediate problem may not be the real problem.
For example, your student may see a failing midterm grade. But the failing grade may be the result of not attending class, so attendance is the problem. Why isn’t your student going to class? Are they working or socializing too much and sleeping through their alarm? Are they having trouble understanding the course material and are afraid they can’t do the work? Different answers point to different solutions.
Your job right now is to stay calm and to listen carefully. A simple “Why?” will help your student peel back the layers and dig deeper. 
Step 2: 
Create an action plan
There are questions you can ask to help your student with this stage of the process.
	1.	Are you interested in fixing the problem and making necessary changes?
	2.	Is this something you can work on by yourself or do you need help? 
	3.	Who do you need to talk to? What resources are available on campus? (Consider advisors, R.A.s, coaches, the counseling center, etc.)
	4.	What successes have you had in the past that you can build on?
	5.	Who is your support network?
	6.	What is the best possible outcome for this situation?
Our students don’t want to disappoint us. We can encourage them not to give up, and perhaps even tell them about the ways we’ve learned from our own failures in life. Every mistake they face up to and fix will make them more competent, more mature and more likely to persist to their goal of a college degree.